Life & Times of a Female Software Engineer
Adventures
I Donated Blood and All I Got Was This Crappy Hospital Bill
Aug 31st
The New York City Blood Center keeps calling me every morning. I’m at work so all I see is that I have a missed call on my home phone, they don’t even leave a message.
I’ve only donated blood once so far in my life. The other time I tried to, I was deferred since I’d been to a tropical country and I could have contracted malaria. Now that I’ve donated blood and found to have the universal donor type (O-Negative,) they want more of me!
I’m glad to help, really, but let me explain about what happened the first (and last) time I donated blood.
Back from Aruba
Aug 10th
Family at Brazilian BBQ
Last week we got back from a five day trip down to Aruba to relax and, more importantly, scout out possible wedding sites! When I say “we” I mean me, Adam, my sister Jennifer, my mother, and Adam’s mom and dad. It was a whole family affair! After all the walking around and scouting, at the end of the week I swore that if my dad had come along on this trip too I would have seriously been tempted to just elope right then and there!
We stayed at the Occidental that is an all-inclusive hotel. That gave us all our meals for free as well as access to a bunch of water sports. We were able to finally get some kayaking that I’ve been dying to do since I first did it on a river up in New Hampshire a few years ago on a camping trip the first summer I met Adam. He wasn’t able to do it with me that time because his Grandfather passed away right before we were scheduled to make the trip, so it was really nice to finally be able to kayak with him.
Jennifer also snagged us a couple hours of dedicated boat time Sunday morning at 9am which had to have been the most perfect time to do it. It was still quite cool before the sun began to soak the beach and because it was Sunday morning, the boats and water skiers weren’t in the port yet to cause wakes.
Adam, me and Jennifer on the boat
We rode on the boat from Palm Beach to the light house and passed the bed and breakfast we stayed at last February. I definitely prefer the calmer, non-touristy side of the island. The beach sand isn’t as “nice” and curated but I think that is what makes it special.
After breakfast, Adam and I ran away and rented a Jeep for a day to off-road to visit some of the places on the island that we missed the last time we were in Aruba. Our main objectives were the Natural Bridge (or what’s left of it,) the Arikok National Park, and Baby Beach. It would have been nice to go to the Natural Pools but you would have had to really go off road in that part of the park and our vehicle wasn’t up to the challenge.
We spent most of the afternoon going down to the Natural Bridge and snapping pictures too close to the edge of the cliffs. We then took the Jeep to maximum potential and rode around off-road to visit a few places in the park. One of them was a beach with a deadly rip-tide. We got our feet wet and were entranced by the almost translucent crabs that were desperately trying to shovel sand out of their hole-homes. (Very cute by the way!)
We stopped by the caverns just before exiting the park and were able to walk all the way in due to the holes open to the outside to let sunlight in. It was deathly stuffy in there due to no air flow which had been keeping me relatively comfortable while walking around outside in the blazing sun.
To finish off the trip, we managed to twist around and find our way down to Baby Beach. The thing about Baby Beach is that it is incredibly still, and has an extremely gradual slope so you are able to walk all the way out to the edge of the cove and still have your head above water. It was here were we took our second try at snorkeling. Last year I had a less than desirable experience snorkeling at the bed and breakfast due to the abnormally harsh waves and I basically froze and had a panic attack in the water thinking I was going to drown. Adam had to physically drag me back to shore. Suffice it to say, I was quite anxious about trying to snorkel again!
I’m very glad to report that I was able to get over my phobia of snorkeling and enjoy the colorful aquatic life that swam under the currents. I took it bit by bit and was able to putter around under the water without freaking out and impressed Adam when I was able to catch up with him after telling him to go ahead and enjoy without me while I went at my own pace.
We spent the rest of the afternoon wading in the water and decided that we should head back because our mothers were probably having fits wondering where on the island we were. 
On our ride back we enjoyed taking the top off the Jeep, listened to some local dance radio, and watched the sun slowly creep towards the horizon.
Adam and me at what's left of the natural bridge
Of course our main assignment was to find out where we wanted our wedding to take place. During the day we visited the different hotels along the coast at the high rise hotels and met with the wedding planners and directors to get more information on what they offer. We narrowed it down to the Marriot, Hyatt and Westin. On Saturday and Sunday evenings, my mom and me or Adam’s mom and me scouted the beaches to watch people get married and to check out how their receptions looked. I was pretty set on going with the Marriot until my mom and I caught a ceremony and saw that they had placed the ceremony right next to the water sports equipment hut. Now, maybe it’s just me, but that would be a pretty ridiculous and ugly photo backdrop. We also took note of the beach traffic from onlookers since Aruba’s beaches are all public and the noise from nearby restaurants. After taking everything into consideration, I definitely think the Westin is the way to go. We even had a chance to talk to the mother-of-the-bride the day of her daughter’s wedding and got the low-down on their take on the whole ordeal.
Now I must do the hard part and try to figure out what exactly I want at our wedding. The wedding planner gave me a check list to fill out of my “wishes” but I can’t even begin to think what it is I want! I was never a girl who dreamed from a young age about my wedding and planned everything down to the tiniest detail. I think I would be happy if someone else just decided it for me and just made it classy and to our personalities after talking to us for a bit.
I better figure out soon, otherwise I’m going to keep getting nagged by the respective families and settle on the final date!
We’re Engaged!
Jul 7th
Adam & Rachel at our Engagement Dinner
This is old news to some people, but on May 21, 2010 Adam asked me to marry him!
He surprised me with a day out at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens for a photo walk (on one of the hottest days of the year that far) but ended up forgetting his camera’s battery. We made due with my puny point-and-click and enjoyed each others company.
After an afternoon of walking and enjoying the flowers, he brought me to the cherry blossom trees and we sat down. If you know Adam, you know he’s a bit of a procrastinator (like me!) We watched a group of people set up for what looked like a wedding and I could tell he was attempting to try and tell me something.
Unfortunately for him, his hesitation was too long and an security guard approached us and asked us to leave the area because the garden was closing (presumably for the event under the cherry blossoms!)
In the scurry of things, he first attempted to sit me down on one of the benches near the trees and as he began to talk a large Hesidic family was making its way across the grass towards us, yelling at their unruly children in the process. Adam rolled his eyes and tried for a third time to find a quiet and appropriate sitting place.
Finally, we walked around for a moment and sat me down on a bench as he stood and reached into his camera bag to pull out a ring box and presented me with my ring. Of course I said yes, we hugged and everything was happy. We then rushed off to the dinner he had scheduled that we were no doubt now late for.
He then surprised me once again when we showed up at the restaurant in New York City, we met up with his father, mother and sister and then shortly the rest of my family all the way from Pittsburgh and my sister from Philadelphia! “Mazel Tovs!” all around. We enjoyed a quiet but talkative evening celebrating our engagement and talked about tentative plans for a wedding next year.
Right now we are in the thick of planning a destination wedding for next summer in Aruba and hope to make a trip with our parents in the next month to scout some places out! We will also be having a reception in Pittsburgh and most likely its counterpart in New York City for our friends and family who won’t be able to join us for our tropical ceremony.
Feeding the Homeless
Jan 14th
Tonight I spent $12 to buy two beggars on the street food. I’ve never done that before. What on Earth would possess me to do that?
Before I answer that question, I’ll preface it with some explanation.
I lived in downtown-”ish” Boston for the better part of 5 years while I studied for my undergraduate degree. While walking to and from different places (some say you can get to anywhere in Boston by walking in about 15 minutes) you tend to meet some interesting people. Especially around the liquor store right on the edge of campus which also happened to be right next to a half-way house (yes, that sounds like a very good idea to me!) Over the years I’ve perfected the “don’t look at them in the eye and just move on” or the “bluff” and say “no, I don’t have any change I can spare” even though you know you could probably spare some coin but justify it with “I’m a poor college student.”
And you know what, I don’t blame anyone who thinks that way because more often than not I think that way. What do you suppose beggars use their money for? Booze? Drugs? Sex? Probably all three at one time or another. So why should someone just give money to a beggar when they don’t know what that money is going to be used for?
I’ve thought about giving money to the homeless or even volunteering my time to help others. I’ve just never seemed to be at that point in my life where I was able to branch out and stop worrying about myself and be able to share or even give to another person. A lot of times growing up I was either too self-absorbed or just had too much going on in my life to even consider being able to help someone else when my life needed so much help.
When I moved out to New York last year, I had a job, I had a place to live and I was by myself for the most part (save for Izzie always being around and the times Adam stopped on by.) I was someone “jealous” that Adam was able to volunteer his own time to become an EMT and be able to legitimately go out and save someone’s life on a nightly b>Before I answer that question, I’ll preface it with some explanation.
I lived in downtown-”ish” Boston for the better part of 5 years while I studied for my undergraduate degree. While walking to and from different places (some say you can get to anywhere in Boston by walking in about 15 minutes) you tend to meet some interesting people. Especially around the liquor store right on the edge of campus which also happened to be right next to a half-way house (yes, that sounds like a very good idea to me!) Over the years I’ve perfected the “don’t look at them in the eye and just move on” or the “bluff” and say “no, I don’t have any change I can spare” even though you know you could probably spare some coin but justify it with “I’m a poor college student.”
And you know what, I don’t blame anyone who thinks that way because more often than not I think that way. What do you suppose beggars use their money for? Booze? Drugs? Sex? Probably all three at one time or another. So why should someone just give money to a beggar when they don’t know what that money is going to be used for?
I’ve thought about giving money to the homeless or even volunteering my time to help others. I’ve just never seemed to be at that point in my life where I was able to branch out and stop worrying about myself and be able to share or even give to another person. A lot of times growing up I was either too self-absorbed or just had too much going on in my life to even consider being able to help someone else when my life needed so much help.
When I moved out to New York last year, I had a job, I had a place to live and I was by myself for the most part (save for Izzie always being around and the times Adam stopped on by.) I was someone “jealous” that Adam was able to volunteer his own time to become an EMT and be able to legitimately go out and save someone’s life on a nightly basis (and all this with a full-time day job, no less!) What could lil’ ol’ me do on the week nights to stave the boredom? I had thought about going to a Human Society shelter and volunteering there a few nights a week but it turns out even shelters close for the evenings at around 4, that doesn’t work for someone who worked in a Start-up environment. The feeling of charity eventually subsided and crawled back into the abyss which is my soul to fester – *cough* I mean hibernate, and I had nearly forgotten about my desire to “give back.”
Fast forward to last night. I’ve been unemployed for almost 3 months now as I wait for my new job to start next week. I’m standing in the oral hygiene isle at CVS down the street from my apartment because I’ve seemed to run out of toothpaste although I swear I bought two tubes the last time I was out (I always seem to be running out of toothpaste, my Adam has it as a snack?) Since I’ve been unemployed for 3 months, money was getting a little tight. I had to ask my mother that same day to lend me some money so I could pay February’s rent since my job got pushed back yet another week (damn bureaucracy!) The toothpaste cost $5.99. I contemplated about getting two tubes but decided not, “that’s $16! I don’t have enough for that!” As I walked to the register with my toothpaste in hand, I spent a couple minutes looking at the Valentine’s candy that was on display and picked out a bag of “fun-size” Kit-Kats (thinking about Adam, who loves the things) and heart-shaped York Peppermint Patties because I hadn’t had them in a really long time. I paid and then went home.
After chomping on a few Kit-Kats since I was starving and waiting for dinner to be done, I happened to look at the receipt that I shoved in the bag. It cost just as much for me to buy that damn candy than it would have been for me to buy that other tube of toothpaste. Ugh. Why was it okay for me to spend it on an obsession (chocolate) rather than something hygienic (toothpaste?)
I began to think about all the “things” in my life that I wanted. I had realized that over the past few months as I was looking for a job I had begun making lists of “things” I wanted to be able to afford after I started making money again. New wheels for my car to replace the ones that were stolen, a new iMac so I could have more computing power for the things I wanted to do, even a doggy seat belt for Izzie because it would make my life easier just to hook her up to that than lug around her obtuse kennel around on day trips. I began to felt guilty for my desire for “things” that I had developed rather than enriching experiences in my life.
I told you that story to tell you this one.
Tonight I was waiting for my train from White Plains into Grad Central. As I walked on to the platform, a middle-aged man who looked and acted like he may have been slightly mentally disabled asked me for a dollar. I lied and said I didn’t have any cash on me. I sat down and watched as he walked on down and asked someone else for change. Instead of what I had said earlier, he said “Where are you going? Are you going to buy a ticket with it?” and instead the guy said, “no I wanted to by food.” I couldn’t really hear the end of the conversation but it ended with the beggar hitting the elevator button to go downstairs. There is a little food mart downstairs, perhaps he got money from the guy and went downstairs to get something to eat. Or, he could have gotten nothing and instead of asking someone else who heard that exchange and would likely not give him money, went downstairs to wait it out until a new crowd moved in to the platform.
I took notice from the guy who answered the beggar’s request for money. Instead of just giving him something to go away he actively engaged him and asked him what he needed. If he needed a train ticket, would he spend the $8 to get him on his way? Would he walk the man downstairs and purchase him a sandwich to fill his empty belly? I was inspired and felt, “you know what, if faced with that decision again, that is what I am going to do inhidden;”>I began to think about all the “things” in my life that I wanted. I had realized that over the past few months as I was looking for a job I had begun making lists of “things” I wanted to be able to afford after I started making money again. New wheels for my car to replace the ones that were stolen, a new iMac so I could have more computing power for the things I wanted to do, even a doggy seat belt for Izzie because it would make my life easier just to hook her up to that than lug around her obtuse kennel around on day trips. I began to felt guilty for my desire for “things” that I had developed rather than enriching experiences in my life.
I told you that story to tell you this one.
Tonight I was waiting for my train from White Plains into Grad Central. As I walked on to the platform, a middle-aged man who looked and acted like he may have been slightly mentally disabled asked me for a dollar. I lied and said I didn’t have any cash on me. I sat down and watched as he walked on down and asked someone else for change. Instead of what I had said earlier, he said “Where are you going? Are you going to buy a ticket with it?” and instead the guy said, “no I wanted to by food.” I couldn’t really hear the end of the conversation but it ended with the beggar hitting the elevator button to go downstairs. There is a little food mart downstairs, perhaps he got money from the guy and went downstairs to get something to eat. Or, he could have gotten nothing and instead of asking someone else who heard that exchange and would likely not give him money, went downstairs to wait it out until a new crowd moved in to the platform.
I took notice from the guy who answered the beggar’s request for money. Instead of just giving him something to go away he actively engaged him and asked him what he needed. If he needed a train ticket, would he spend the $8 to get him on his way? Would he walk the man downstairs and purchase him a sandwich to fill his empty belly? I was inspired and felt, “you know what, if faced with that decision again, that is what I am going to do instead!”
I should have learned in the past that when I make promises to myself like that I am very quickly confronted by God/Fate/karma to test me. Tonight, my friend Sloan and I were walking out of The Bitter End after having a mediocre beer while listening to a mediocre band. As we decided to call it a night, a man walked up to us and asked if we could spare any change. I shook my head and asked him, “What do you need?” He told me he wanted to buy some food. I told him that I would buy him food instead of giving him money. ‘Lo and behold, a food truck was sitting just a few dozen feet away, open for business. I asked him what he wanted and he pointed to the #6 juicy cheeseburger.
As he ordered up another beggar he knew from the streets, walked up to him to say hello, also not wasting a moment to try and get a few bucks from us. Boy, God/Fate/karma was really pushing it tonight! I can’t remember exactly what was said but I agreed to buy him a burger too instead of giving him the money (he looked obviously drunk.) While we waited for the burgers to cook, the drunk beggar walked away, I’m assuming to use a restroom, but later thinking it might have been because I was pressing the other guy about why he was begging and what was going on in his life, looking back he might not have wanted me to ask him that.
The first beggar was very enthusiastic. He was missing a tooth or two at the front of his mouth but it didn’t keep him from smiling at us as we talked. He told us about how he was 5 months sober and began to recite the age-old mantra of the AA meetings as he pulled out his membership coins. I’m not all too familiar with what goes down at an AA meeting but I think I’ve seen enough shows and soap operas to glean that a coin is for a certain time period that you’re clean. He had two. He explained that this was his second time trying the AA thing and that he had relapsed a year or two before. He told us about the different half-way homes he had tried to live in and about how his things were stolen at one of them.
It was at this time that a young woman approached us with a cardboard sign about how her boyfriend dumped her and threw her out on the street so he could live with his new play thing. (Okay, so third time’s the charm, God?) She looked extremely tired, she was pretty lucid so I don’t think the look was from drugs. I also asked her if she was hungry, she declined and said someone else had already given her a sandwich.
After what seemed like an eternity, the burgers were done and the other beggar showed up to claim it. At least the first beggar was nice enough to chat with us while we waited to give him his food. The men grabbed their packages and immediately dug in and we said our good-byes and they blessed us with a couple hugs as we wished them to stay warm for the night.
I still don’t know if what I did was the “right” thing to do because I don’t know if those men or women were who they said they were (homeless) or if they were users out to make an easy buck. For all I know they will just go back to begging and never find the strength to find a proper living. However, I have decided that it was the right decision for me to make for myself at that time to try and do something different than to just ignore the situation.
Tonight I spent $12 to buy two beggars on the street food. I’ve never done that before. What on Earth would possess me to do that?
Before I answer that question, I’ll preface it with some explanation.
I lived in downtown-”ish” Boston for the better part of 5 years while I studied for my undergraduate degree. While walking to and from different places (some say you can get to anywhere in Boston by walking in about 15 minutes) you tend to meet some interesting people. Especially around the liquor store right on the edge of campus which also happened to be right next to a half-way house (yes, that sounds like a very good idea to me!) Over the years I’ve perfected the “don’t look at them in the eye and just move on” or the “bluff” and say “no, I don’t have any change I can spare” even though you know you could probably spare some coin but justify it with “I’m a poor college student.”
And you know what, I don’t blame anyone who thinks that way because more often than not I think that way. What do you suppose beggars use their money for? Booze? Drugs? Sex? Probably all three at one time or another. So why should someone just give money to a beggar when they don’t know what that money is going to be used for?
I’ve thought about giving money to the homeless or even volunteering my time to help others. I’ve just never seemed to be at that point in my life where I was able to branch out and stop worrying about myself and be able to share or even give to another person. A lot of times growing up I was either too self-absorbed or just had too much going on in my life to even consider being able to help someone else when my life needed so much help.
Adventure Weekend
Aug 17th
Can't you tell we're sisters?
My sister Jennifer graduated from college in the spring and recently moved to Philadelphia for her new job post-graduation. She lives about 2- 2.5 hours away from my place so we have been talking about how easy it should be for us to visit each other every few weekends. Since her apartment doesn’t allow dogs and she’s still trying to unpack, I suggested that she visit me first so I didn’t have to make special arrangements for Isabella.
I had plans to hang out with some of my Westchester Geeks Friday night and see District 9 (which was great by the way) and she timed it to coincide with us just getting out of the movie. Poor Jenn. The trip wasn’t long, but if you knew her you’d understand. I doubt if she’ll ever drive up again to visit because she now absolutely despises paying tolls and using the George Washington Bridge.
Traffic and car trips aside, Adam came along and over the weekend we decided to take a trip to the Bronx Zoo and get some beach time in. On Saturday we all managed to sleep in to a relaxing hour and then organized ourselves to get down to the Bronx Zoo which is only about a 20 minute ride away. Luckily, this weekend was in rare form and it was quite sunny and warm!
Tiger working through enrichment activities.
Last time I went to the Bronx Zoo was with Adam and it was either soon to be winter, winter, or just getting out of winter and there was very little to see except for the big Siberian Tiger which I had re-learned is a winter-loving animal and thus most active in the winter. Luckily for us he decided to come down that afternoon to do enrichment activities with the trainers at the sanctuary.
We also got a chance to see some swimming puffins and bee-catcher birds who could catch insects on the wing. They did a demonstration for us at the zoo but because they had been overfeeding the birds since little hatchlings needed every opportunity to be fed, the birds weren’t dive bombing as much today.
After a long walk the park was closing and I suggested to take Jenn to my favorite Korean BBQ restaurant in New York City for dinner. We managed to find “cheap” parking and had a nice dinner cooked in front of us on the burner (the first time Jenn had a chance to do it.)
On Saturday, Adam had to wake up early for his Rescue hours on Long Island so he stole my car and sped off. Jenn and I took our time and slept in until almost noon! We then got our stuff together and drove down to Long Island for some beach therapy. It was a nice afternoon/early evening and managed to nap some more while sun bathing. We finished the day with some pizza and I sent her back, begrudgingly, towards the GWB and on her way home.
